


To Leave The Friends You Loved

by verucasalt123



Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Chance Meetings, Gen, Human Castiel, Male Bonding, Sad Castiel, Sad Derek, Walk Into A Bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verucasalt123/pseuds/verucasalt123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They have more in common than meets the eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Leave The Friends You Loved

**Author's Note:**

> SPN spoilers for S9ep3, TW spoilers for end of S3ep12, title is a quote from Thomas Wolfe’s “You Can’t Go Home Again”.

He’d spent too much time alone, and Castiel felt this strange, unfamiliar urge to leave the small place where Dean had set him up “ _just for now, not long, I swear_ ”. Getting used to the onslaught of emotions that went along with being human was…difficult, and even more difficult now that he was on his own. It didn’t take him long to figure out that he was lonely, and that seeking the presence of other people, even strangers, was preferable to staying in his apartment. Castiel had a credit card and cash, but no car, so he walked to the nearest bar and quickly took in his surroundings. It was an average sort of place – not fancy and not filthy – with a jukebox but no pool tables. All he knew about bars, he had learned from the Winchesters. He hadn’t been in very many of them, but enough to feel this wasn’t a dangerous location. 

He’d barely gotten a good look around the place when, as he was headed toward the barstools, he noticed a man sitting there. The man was drinking alone; his eyes were directed toward the television screen mounted on the wall but didn’t seem to be really looking at it. What caught Castiel’s attention was that the man was very attractive, dark-haired, and wearing jeans, boots and a leather jacket. Moving closer to the bar, he remembered what he’d observed on the few occasions he’d been in establishments like this before and left and empty seat between himself and the man in the leather jacket. Dean called it the “ _I’m Not Gay Seat_ ”, explaining that you don’t just sit down next to someone you don’t know if there are other seats available. Apparently, this rule was even observed in restrooms; leaving space between yourself and a stranger if at all possible. It certainly wouldn’t be an issue today. There were only a handful of people in the bar, not unusual given that it was not even two in the afternoon. The bored-looking bartender took his order for Amstel, the only kind of beer he liked (that he knew of). After a moment of hesitation he added, “And a Jack Daniels, please”. The bartender asked if he wanted the liquor ‘straight up’, and Castiel nodded even though he didn’t know what that meant. 

Once his drinks were set in front of him, he took a few long swigs from the glass of beer while the bartender just stared at him. Castiel realized his error quickly, asking if he needed to pay for the drinks first. The bartender replied, “If you’ve got a credit card, I can just start you a tab.” He remembered Sam sliding a card across the bar the last time they’d all been out together, but not until they had already had several drinks and were ready to leave. Castiel immediately understood and handed over his credit card. The bartender moved away after that, leaving Castiel alone with his alcohol. He wasn’t sure what kind of effect it would have on him now but there was really no reason not to find out. There was nothing he needed to do that day, nowhere he needed to be. Setting down the beer, he picked up the small tumbler of whiskey and swallowed nearly half of it before the burn hit his throat and he started to cough. Feeling his eyes start to water, he wondered how Dean and Sam ( _and Bobby and Jo and Ellen_ ) were able to tolerate that feeling with no outward sign of discomfort. It wasn’t something he felt when he’d consumed alcohol as an angel, even large quantities of it. 

Once his coughs subsided and he used a paper napkin to wipe his eyes and face, Castiel realized that the man two seats down was looking at him. Before he had a chance to speak, the man asked, “Hey, you all right over there?”

At first, Castiel was startled by the question, but it didn’t seem entirely unusual. He’d been treated kindly by strangers before (even ones who hadn’t been trying to trick him). Nodding at the man, he replied, “Thank you, I am all right. It’s been…a long time since I’ve had liquor, I suppose.”

With a small, almost pained-looking smile, the man said, “Maybe you ought to stick with just beer, unless you have some reason to re-acquaint yourself with the hard stuff?”

“Many people I’ve known seem to take comfort from intoxication when they’re feeling badly. I thought it was worth a try”, Castiel responded, before realizing he was dangerously close to disclosing his feelings to this stranger. Recent experience had taught him that wasn’t a very wise course of action. But this man – there seemed to be something different about him, something… _other_. Castiel couldn’t place it, and wished for the thousandth time that he still had the ability to see what wasn’t visible to humans. By that time, though, the man had turned toward him and began speaking again.

“For what it’s worth, any comfort that comes from forgetting your feelings like that is only temporary. Though I’m not really one to talk – I was feeling pretty badly a while back so I just took off. Left my home and my friends without even saying goodbye, just started driving. I thought it would help, getting away”, he said, then seemed startled for a moment, as Castiel had when he’d realized he was sharing his thoughts with someone he didn’t know. The guy shook it off rather quickly, though, laughing bitterly and saying, “I don’t feel any better than I did when I left.”

Taking a chance, Castiel extended a hand and introduced himself, using the false name Dean had given his identification card and other documents. “My name is Alex”, he lied, “I’m away from home as well.”

Taking his hand, the man replied, “Derek. And I don’t know why I told you that. I’m not really one to strike up conversations with people I don’t know.”

Derek had light green eyes, sharp cheekbones and a look about him that Castiel was very familiar with – the look of someone who’d been carrying a heavy burden for a very long time. “It’s all right, Derek, not like I have anyone to repeat it to. I’m on my own these days.”

“My sister was with me, but she found a place where she wanted to stay. I wasn’t ready yet. Sometimes I think about going home, back to where I started, but I don’t know if that’s the best thing for me or for the people there that I care about.”

Castiel nodded. “Getting back to the place you think you belong doesn’t always turn out to be what you expected”, he said, laughing bitterly. 

“Sounds like personal experience. I think I’m just convinced the people I left behind are safer without me around.”

“Now that, I can tell you truly, is personal experience for me. I didn’t know it until I got there, but…my friends are better off if I stay away. At least for now.”

Derek gave him a curious look, and they exchanged sad smiles as they finished their beers. Castiel listened as Derek talked about the baseball game on the television behind the bar, then ordered another round. 

When their glasses were full again, Derek raised his toward Castiel and said, “Here’s to _not_ going home again”, and they clinked their beers against each other. It was nice to know there was someone who might understand how he felt, at least in some way, Castiel thought.


End file.
